Hot Dudes: Why your girlfriend hates you.

No matter what a girl says to you, what she wants is you to be a Nicholas Spark's character. This dude must have like a secret vagina because he knows exactly what a romantic woman wants (and unromantic women, because women are romantic and if they say otherwise they are liars or just have a hormonal imbalance.) What makes a Nicholas Sparks character?

#1 You must have a hot body

I never thought I'd be into butt cleavage, but it's official, I am. Bow chica wow wow! Am I right?

He looks so slippery, and so ab having...

New Movie alert! Safe Haven... also hot bod. Woo Woo!

#2 Always be doing this

(I've never actually seen this movie because I don't like watching old people doing it)

#Say absurdly romantic things while possibly being teary eyed

Although it's not possible to be kissed every second of every day, I would do it if zac efron was my man candy. Dear lord, I would.

He's so tall and nice looking. Also always use that line "You're not like other girls" perf.

Dear lord, This is why us ladies hate our boyfriends because they don't say things like this. RYAN GOSLING FOR REAL STOP RUING OUR LIVES!

So if you want your girlfriend to like you, either don't ever let her watch any of these movies, or perhaps take a note from Nicholas Sparks. I think I'm going to have a long night of Nicholas Sparks movie watching, seriously, this shit is good.