Hot Dudes: We love the 90's

I was  prepubescent in the 90's being born in the year 1990. THUS I could not appreciate all the 90's hotties as I can now. There is no such thing as a time machine, as I have discussed in an earlier blog post, but there is this thing called netflix. You stumble upon the weirdest movies/television shows, and you're like woah wait a second, this is a person that exists? And do they still exist? You look them up and you realize they don't really exist, and they most likely didn't age well because they aren't famous anymore. BUT that doesn't mean they weren't hot in the 90's because... YOU GET THE IDEA: WE ARE DISCUSSING HOTTIES OF THE 90'S OKAY?

The year 94', the television show: My So Called Life. The man (who actually is still famous and STILL SMOKIN HOT) Jared Leto.

OH DEAR GOD! Who could blame Clair Danes for being obsessed with him (she had to be in real life too, come ON) even if he was as dumb as a bag of dicks.... because that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard of. He was a musician too. DOUBLE YES.

And here he is today, still smokin like a pizza that fell off the pizza stone onto the very bottom of the oven and it's the frozen kind of pizza so it's like ice melting and the oven fills with smoke and then when you open the oven it fills your apartment and the fire alarm goes off and you are drunk and it's two in the morning and you have to open the door and wave a plate over the fire alarm, that kind of smokin'.


So I've been watching this TV show called *ahem* Dawson's Creek. Well let me tell you something: There are no hot people in that TV show until the effing SIXTH SEASON. Unless you count Dawson's dad, but he is more like a buthisface, that dad had A BOD! But alas, season six comes around and the casting director was like wait a second we can get actors that don't have huge foreheads or have a weird chin face? Let's do that.

Oliver Hudson 
He's a hottie, and he dates gross Joey (Katie Holmes BUGS, she has weird fingernails and pointy teeth and she smiles with her tongue sticking out, pukey). It's the hair, the cool colored eyes, and he has slightly disproportional front teeth that are really cute. He also reminds me of Rango for some reason... I think it's his lips, doesn't make him not hot though.

Interesting fact: Oliver Hudson stars in the tv show, Rules of Engagement. His fiance' in the TV show was BIANCA ON DAWSON'S CREEK (she was the slutty actress that for some reason liked to bang Dawson). They both got their start on Dawson's WEIRD.

Jensen Ackles

He at least dates Michelle Williams, who is the only super successful person in this television series. Good news ladies: it shows him without his shirt on sometimes.
He is also still famous on ANOTHER WB show called supernatural, but out-shined because he has short hair now and it gets trampled by his costar who has longer hair. Here's a picture of him without a shirt on:

I know what you are thinking: That's a cool bracelet he's wearing. And to that I would have to agree.

Here's Dawson with a 90's problem. 

Devon Sawa 

I don't know if any of you have watched a little movie called Casper, but if you haven't then you must have been born not in the 90's or just dumb. Remember when Casper turns into a real boy? That real boy is Devon Sawa and he made my prepubescent heart flutter like an eye twitch when you haven't slept well and have had too much coffee. He was also in other 90's jems such as: Now and Then, Wild America, And the two best movies of all, Idle Hands (where his hand becomes possessed and kills people), and Final Destination.

K so now that I look at him, not that hot but like I was eight or something, ps. He did not age well.

Jon Tay Tom aka Jonathan Taylor Thomas aka the boy with three first names.

Did anyone else just watch home improvement for him? The oldest one on that TV had ridiculous hair and the youngest one was always whining and was also weird looking. I don't know if you guys love Christmas as much as me but he was in that I'll Be Home for Christmas movie, that's when I loved him the most. I have no idea what happened to this guy.
THIS JUST IN: I read an article, he is a smartie pants and went to Harvard and is also really really short. 5'5", that's a little shorter than me, but I don't even care, still good looking.


I understand there are much more 90's hotties but for now that's all folks. Perhaps there will be a part DOS eventually.

Hot Dudes: Good Things That Can Go Wrong.

Sometimes really good things can go bad, for instance ice cream. It can be so delicious because it's ice cream and then sometimes it can go bad like if you leave it out to melt and refreeze it, or if you just get a crap flavor (for instance crap flavored ice cream would be gross). This is a metaphor for men doing things that I think are hot but can also go bad (like the ice cream situation).

Tattoos. 
No matter how much I try to deny it, I am all about the bad boy. Not really actually, just looking like a bad boy. Tattoos can be utterly attractive if done correctly like this:

Cool tattoos make you look artistic, even if you aren't. It also reminds people of pirates and pirates are sex. Then again there are SO MANY DOUCHEY TATTOOS.Sometimes it's in the form of a tribal symbol of a tribe you aren't from, or maybe it's a naked lady, or maybe it's just ugly. Here is one person who has every tattoo a person shouldn't have if you plan on not being a douche.

Ewe and he's wearing GD Ed Hardy, it makes this picture more accurate for what I'm trying to say.

Long (ish) hair. 

For some reason it seems when boys have gorgeous hair it's like GORGEOUS HAIR. It's not like the typical pretty hair, it's like OH I literally do nothing with my hair and it looks like I spent four hours making it wave perfectly like this. Oh and if I feel like throwing it back in a pony tail, it'll look EFFING awesome. Those lousy SOB's. Here's some examples of stupidly beautiful dude hair.

Feel free to email stoppedbelieving@gmail.com to thank her for this picture.

Sometimes you have gross hair that shouldn't be had at all on top of your head. That hair doesn't make you more manly... it's gross.

This kind of hair is never okay. NEVER OKAY. Even if your hair is really thick and you think it'd look all good and long and flowing, it doesn't.

Dudes Acting Cute With Babies.
The huge problem with being attracted to guys who are playing with children is: that the child is most likely their child, with a different person, who isn't you, who is close by. This is a problem that you can't do anything about unless you are into being a home wrecker.

Married. Damn.

Married and has like 1 million children. Damn.

OH crap that is cute, kissin' his kid and stuff. Married. Damn.

When Boys Cry for Appropriate Reasons in Movies. 
The moments I'm referring to... Emile Hirsch watching the horses in Into the Wild.

Oh man don't you just want to go cry about the horses with him? I do. I love a man who cries about seeing horses run in the wild. SOCIETY!

 The other moment is about when someone is dying in that movie where Zac Efron has sex with a ghost but it's so cute when he cries. Awe, he's so sensitive and stuff.

Crying makes people's eyes look prettier. I feel like I should always take pictures after a cry fest because I LOOK FABULOUS.
How this can go wrong? Well if a real man is always crying in real life all the GD time, well that is just annoying. (It's appropriate when seeing wild horses and when people die, and other things too but the list is too long to make and it'd be boring)




Anyways you should probably fallow this link because it's so WEIRD! I laughed and laughed and laughed.

http://popcrush.com/one-direction-aged-whos-the-hottest-senior-citizen-readers-poll/